Today, people love attachment with the fear of detachment. So, it is neither an attachment nor detachment. One cannot understand the inner sensation of human relationships when it is encircled with conditioned attachment because all forms of conditioned relationship are the products of the narcissistic self and its image forming mechanism.
Understanding the space between true attachment and detachment is not possible without understanding the inner functioning of the hidden and exhibiting minds. The conditioned attachment will always take a new shape with a new desire based on the favourable condition of the particular space-time. This false attachment will habitually wear a mask of mercy, dignity, humanity, patriotism, freedom and so on, to define its conditioned behaviour pattern. But there is a vast difference between the conditioned and unconditioned attachment and detachment.
All forms of spiritual enlightenment of the history have been a product of detachment. But one can experience the spiritual detachment and its infinite excellence, only after experiencing an unconditional attachment. One of the finest examples in the spiritual history of mankind is the enlightenment of Ramakrishna Paramahamsa. When Guru (spiritual teacher) Totapuri visited his disciple Paramahamsa, he was worshiping Goddess Kali. On seeing the face of his Guru Totapuri, Paramahamsa became completely emotional and asked, "Please do not abandon me until I attain enlightenment. I have been worshiping Goddess Kali with high devotion, yet I am not enlightened". Totapuri replied that Paramahamsa had all the qualities for enlightenment, but there was one weakness, his unconditional attachment to the favourite deity.
Totapuri asks Paramahamsa to go to his meditation room and close all doors. In deep meditation Goddess Kali appears in his vision. Then Totapuri asks Paramahamsa to cut Goddess Kali's head. He hesitates. Totapuri thunders with spiritual authority: "Just cut Her head! This is Totapuri, your Guru ordering you to perform the action. Remember! It is only the pain of detachment that purifies the path of enlightenment". Paramahamsa cuts Goddess Kali’s head and after days of deep distress Paramahamsa emerges enlightened